#betterYOULandL | PARENTING

Happy Tuesday! Part of our #betterYOULandL series will focus on child and family relationships. I  am far from an expert on relationships. But one of my dear friends is, Keri Maughan. I met this lifesaver of a life coach almost 10 years ago when I first attended her Love and Logic classes. She taught me to parent with empathy (then I got tweens, and now I need to reteach myself;). Keri specializes in child development, marriage/family and addiction. She has been by my side for years and got me through my darkest days. My love for her is pure. She really is the ultimate in her field of expertise! I’ll be teaming up with Keri every Tuesday through May to bring you tips/ideas. Please leave comments on any subject you’d like to know more about. Examples: bedtime routine, entitlement in children, the “it’s not fair” mentality, how to fight fair in marriage, allowance, etc.

This is just as much for me as it is you. I am constantly trying to become a better and a more CONSISTENT parent. My kids are growing. Each of them has different needs. They fight with each other and with me. They are addicted to their iPads. They say I’m the mean mom because I won’t let them have SnapChat or phones or sleepovers. Gah…it’s a lot. Oh and then we added poor Jeff to the mix who had no idea what our real life was like. Like I said, I need these parenting/family posts just as much as anyone. You can read Keri’s words below on setting limits:

SET CONSISTANT LIMITS

Set clear, reasonable and age appropriate limits/boundaries. Part of a child’s job is to discover the limits of his/her environment. Once limits are established, safety is felt and the child is able to focus their energies on learning, growing, working or playing! When changes occur in their environment, the child will test those limits to reestablish a feeling of safety and stability, both of which are important to their physical and emotional growth. Just as with choices, encouraging your child to collaborate with you in setting healthy limits, will result in a greater likelihood of them adhering to the agreed upon limits.

GUIDLINES FOR LIMITS

Set age appropriate limits. Rule of thumb: the younger the child, the tighter the limit. As the child matures in age and trustworthiness, the limits expand, allowing the child to gain much needed life experience, self-discipline, respect and dependability.

THE KEY

The key to limits being successfully honored by children is adults being willing to CONSISTENTLY enforce those limits in a LOVING way. Adults consistently and empathetically holding firm, to the limits that have been agreed upon, clarified with teaching and reinforced with time frames with develop strong, loving relationships built on trust.

XXO lisa